


Roomba

by kittenspawn



Category: Fables - Willingham
Genre: Bigby Wolf V Technology, F/M, Roomba 0 - Bigby 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 10:14:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3688410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenspawn/pseuds/kittenspawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Bigby tries to make his wife’s everyday life a little easier. Self-indulgent silliness because I had to use a Roomba today and I couldn’t help think of how Bigby would feel about one. Unbetaed first draft, please forgive any mistakes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roomba

He’d already given her an entire valley, a place they could be together with the cubs without any trouble, but he felt like he could give her more to show how much it meant she was there.  


And given how hard she worked picking up after the little monsters, he thought she deserved a hand around the house. And since his schedule wouldn’t allow him to help many days, and he wasn’t about to get them a maid he got the next best thing.

It was called a _Roomba_. 

Hell if he knew why you’d call an ‘ Automatic Vacuuming Robot.’ something like that, but that’s what it said on the box. Bigby had been assured by the Mundy sales clerk that this was the most elite of robotic cleaning appliances, and it damn well better have been for what it cost. All he cared about was that it would take something off Snow’s already full plate and getting the hell out of that crowded Mundy superstore before he went nuts from all the people in there.

He tossed the instruction manual aside, because he was smart enough to figure out a damned robot vacuum, of course, and set the Roomba on the ground.

“Go.” He ordered the surprisingly heavy disc of plastic parts.

It did nothing in response to his commands.

“C’mon.” Bigby nudged the Roomba with his foot, trying to urge it to do something. “Vacuum, you piece of Mundy junk.” Roomba made a soft whirring sound as he pushed it, but stopped as soon as he pulled his foot back.

“Do something, dammit!” He kicked it, because it honestly didn’t take a lot to get him annoyed.

The Roomba played a very unhappy sounding tune, much like that annoying Simon toy the cubs had.  A red light flashed angrily before it was silent and motionless again.

He poked one of the buttons on the top, only to be answered with another unpleasant tone and a sharp robotic voice.

“Charge Roomba.” It demanded, the lights flashing red again.

“Charge?” Bigby looked around, then dig in the box for another piece. Again, he ignored the instruction and simply set the piece on the floor after plugging it into the wall. “OK. Go charge.”  He asked nicely, even.

Again, Roomba did nothing.

“Hey!” Yes, he was going to argue with the cleaning robot. “You’re supposed to be _automatic_ , you stupid piece of…”

* * *

Several hours later, Snow came home from her errands and dropping the cubs off with Rose. She wrinkled her nose, the soft almost unnoticeable whirring sound in the Manor causing her concern. “Bigby…?”  She made her way into the living room to where the sound was coming from, and burst out laughing at the sight before her.

Bigby was laying on the floor, his hands over his face like he was trying to block out the world. Circling around him was Roomba, having cleaned every bit of floor surface in the room except the spot Bigby was laying. Every few seconds it ran into him, then backed up a few inches only to run into him again, as if urging him to move.

“You got me a…” Snow started before he pulled his hands away from his face.

“A vacuuming robot, yes.” And it only took him four hours to get the damn thing working.

Snow walked over to her husband, offering her hand to help him up. Once Bigby was out of the way, Roomba darted back and forth over the area he’d been laying. Once it was finished, it stopped, right in front of his feet, and played a cheerful little victory tune.

“Oh my God, does it do that all the time?” Snow asked as Bigby growled at the Roomba, still clearly annoyed with it.

After looking over a bit of paper that was still in the box for about ten seconds, Snow walked over to the Roomba, flipped a switch to silence it and pressed the ‘dock’ button. Roomba almost silently moved over to the charging dock, and docked itself. Its light turned a cool green.

“Huh, it really _is_ as easy as it looks on TV. Thank you, sweetheart.” Snow smiled, kissing her husband’s cheek in thanks. It was all he could do not to cover his face with his hands again.

Easy. _Sure_.


End file.
